Adventures of a History Geek
In about fourteen hours, I will be on a plane to Atlanta. From there, I fly to Manchester, England, where I'm spending ten weeks doing research for my master's thesis in European history. I am looking at how the Industrial Revolution changed Steve's hometown of Preston. I want to know how a small medieval market town described by author Daniel Defoe in 1724 as a town full of attorneys was, about one hundred years later, a bustling textile hub. That's what my thesis prospectus says, anyway (albeit in a lot more scholarly words). Who knows what I'll find or where it will take me? That's half of fun of doing something like this. Or so I assume. I've never done anything like this before. In fact, this research trip makes me a real, live historian. I'm not a history major. I'm not a history grad student. I'm an historian! Makes me feel important.
But I don't really feel like a historian at the moment. Right now, I'm mostly tired. I'm staying up late and getting up early hoping that if I'm sleepy later tonight, I'll get some sleep on the airplane. The fully-booked airplane. More than likely, I'll just be a very sleep passenger on a fully-booked airplane and a sound-asleep guest shortly after I arrive at Mum and Dad Ashton's.
At the moment, I'm also a bit stressed. Steve and I spent all day running errands for the trip, and yet my To Do list has less than half its entries scratched off. Not good. That's going to make for a stressful day. I need to try and stay relaxed and just get everything done.
At the moment, I'm mostly just . . . sad. I'm excited about doing this research. I'm excited about being in England for such a long time and getting to know the family better. I'm excited about my friend, Alicia, coming over for a week when I'm in London. But the thought of leaving Steve - of being apart from him for 2.5 months - rips a hole in my heart. The closer I get to leaving, the harder it is not to totally freak out about it. Just thinking about saying good-bye brings me near tears these last couple of days.
You'd think we'd be old hats at this. Ninety percent of our courtship was spent with him in England and me in the states. But for nearly ten years, he's been with me. It was horrible being apart from him back then. It's going to be even more miserable being apart from him now. I'm used to having him around. I like having him around. This is just so . . . wrong.
What in the bloody hell was I thinking when I concocted this research trip?!
I'm sure once I'm in England and into a research routine, I'll be fine. And hopefully Skype and webcams will make the ten weeks tolerable. And when I get home on July 8, Steve and I can celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary (a month late) and I'm never leaving him for this long again.
But I don't really feel like a historian at the moment. Right now, I'm mostly tired. I'm staying up late and getting up early hoping that if I'm sleepy later tonight, I'll get some sleep on the airplane. The fully-booked airplane. More than likely, I'll just be a very sleep passenger on a fully-booked airplane and a sound-asleep guest shortly after I arrive at Mum and Dad Ashton's.
At the moment, I'm also a bit stressed. Steve and I spent all day running errands for the trip, and yet my To Do list has less than half its entries scratched off. Not good. That's going to make for a stressful day. I need to try and stay relaxed and just get everything done.
At the moment, I'm mostly just . . . sad. I'm excited about doing this research. I'm excited about being in England for such a long time and getting to know the family better. I'm excited about my friend, Alicia, coming over for a week when I'm in London. But the thought of leaving Steve - of being apart from him for 2.5 months - rips a hole in my heart. The closer I get to leaving, the harder it is not to totally freak out about it. Just thinking about saying good-bye brings me near tears these last couple of days.
You'd think we'd be old hats at this. Ninety percent of our courtship was spent with him in England and me in the states. But for nearly ten years, he's been with me. It was horrible being apart from him back then. It's going to be even more miserable being apart from him now. I'm used to having him around. I like having him around. This is just so . . . wrong.
What in the bloody hell was I thinking when I concocted this research trip?!
I'm sure once I'm in England and into a research routine, I'll be fine. And hopefully Skype and webcams will make the ten weeks tolerable. And when I get home on July 8, Steve and I can celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary (a month late) and I'm never leaving him for this long again.
Deanne, I'm so happy you're going to be blogging! I leave Thursday and will be blogging too: www.la-escribana.blogspot.com.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you are feeling. I'm worried about leaving my elderly parents for 3 months, and my darling grandbaby, Cooper. I know how much he's going to change and I'm afraid he'll forget me. Excited, but so very sad. At least we understand each other. Have a wonderful trip. I'll check your blog every day, so keep writing! xoxo Karen